Beetroot. I have rediscovered it, and reclaimed it from my childhood plate where it was always a crinkle-cut purple slab that oozed and stained everything that was within dribble distance.

This hearty and wholesome root has an earthy flavour that makes you feel healthy just tasting it!

Sent this to my girlfriend- She's now my wife. Showing that bad food punnage works... or I'm just really good looking.
Sent this to my girlfriend- She’s now my wife. Showing that bad food punnage works… or I’m just really good looking.

Cringe-factor cuteness aside, here’s how to make beetroot caviar:

Add 1g Sodium Alginate to about a cup of beetroot juice, blend till in solution. Put in the fridge and give it some time for the bubbles to go out.
Prepare a Calcium bath so long by mixing 3g Calcium Lactate into about 500ml water. Put into fridge to cool down.

Once your bubbles are out of the beet juice (you can leave the bubbles in if you want but it looks better without bubbles), drip into the calcium bath one drop at a time. This takes practice because if you drip from too high the drops will flatten and won’t form nice little spheres, if you drop from too low the drops won’t sink down and you won’t get nice little spheres. If you drip too fast, you won’t get nice little spheres. You get the picture. Good luck and have fun with it.

Why yes, this is stick blender some water with Calcium Lactate.
Why yes, this is stick blender some water with Calcium Lactate.
The blood of the innocent. Apparently it's also very good for you, will clear your debts, give you sexual powers, and make things better with noisy neighbours. That's at least what Dr Jumbawisa says...
The blood of the innocent. Apparently it’s also very good for you, will clear your debts, give you sexual powers, and make things better with noisy neighbours. That’s at least what Dr Jumbawisa says…
It turns out the pigment is really quite sneaky at escaping from membranes. This are pigment trails from caviar at the surface.
It turns out the pigment is really quite sneaky at escaping from membranes. This are pigment trails from caviar at the surface.
Ever play that game "Goo", well I tried playing the real version while shooting this.
Ever play that game “Goo”, well I tried playing the real version while shooting this.

 

Rorscharch test of the culinarily insane.
Rorscharch test of the culinarily insane.